A civil marriage could range in size from the bride and groom and 2 witnesses in a Register Office to a themed wedding in an Approved Premise with 200 guests! You might opt for the basic ceremony or decide to add your own words and/or readings. For those wanting to make a grand entrance it may be possible to arrange to walk in to music, accompanied by bridesmaids and pageboys.
Your wedding day will give you memories that will last a lifetime so we want to ensure they are everything you wish for. Our staff are here to help you make the most of the day by adapting the proceedings to meet your requirements whilst keeping within the guidelines issued by the Registrar General, ie nothing of any religious content or connotation.
Basic ceremony
Before the ceremony begins you will have to provide information to the Registrar regarding yourselves. You will also both be asked to state the full name and surname of your natural or legally adoptive father, his occupation and whether he is retired or deceased.
In terms of personalising the ceremony you will have an appointment at some stage where you can discuss with the Superintendent Registrar items such as music, vows and readings. You do not legally have to exchange ring(s) as part of the ceremony, it is a traditional part of the wedding ceremony.
Extra words/readings
It may be possible for you to have one or two readings by family or friends as part of your ceremony.
You do need to remember that what you are planning is a civil ceremony and that we are therefore advised by the Registrar General that under no circumstances can any part of the ceremony have any religious connotation. Examples of tracts that are not appropriate are extracts from the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, the Prophet (by Gilbran), and Howard's End. Moreover the Registrar General considers that the omission or selective reference from any piece would not alter its religious character.
Having said all that this still leaves you plenty of readings to choose from. Perhaps you might have a piece by Shakespeare or Wordsworth, maybe you prefer something from Winnie the Pooh by A A Milne or a poem by Pam Ayres. You will be asked to supply a copy of the text, the title and the author for approval. You will also need to state the name of the person doing the reading for you. A booklet containing suitable readings is available to purchase from all the Northamptonshire Register Offices, price £2.50 plus 50p postage.
It may also be possible for you to add personalised vows to your ceremony, the same general criteria as for readings apply (above). These are usually included with the wording used for the exchange of rings. You will be asked to supply a copy of the wording you would like for approval. You will also need to decide if you will learn the words, recite them off a card you write out or would prefer to be prompted by the Superintendent Registrar conducting your ceremony.
Time of ceremony
Everyone should be assembled in the building up to 15 minutes before the time of your marriage.
It is essential that you keep to the time arranged for your marriage. If the start of your marriage is delayed for any reason the Superintendent Registrar may have to curtail your ceremony, leaving out certain elements; such as readings, extra vows and musical items. It is also possible that the marriage may have to be postponed, or at worst rescheduled for another day. This may require new Notices of Marriage being given and the payment of all fees again.
You should ensure that you and your guests have ample time to arrive at the venue. It is a good idea to check the local travel news on the day to make allowances for roadworks etc.
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Seating
Each location has a maximum number of people that can be accommodated in each room. These have to include everyone in the room from the Registrars and photographer to babies and young children. Please ensure that you do not exceed these limits as they are for safety reasons.
Apart from seats reserved for the bride, groom and two witnesses the remainder of the guests can take a seat anywhere. If you wish to follow convention then, as you enter from the back of a room, the bride's family normally sits on the left and the groom's family on the right.
Where a room has wheelchair access then seating will be removed to allow the guest(s) in wheelchairs to place themselves in an appropriate location.
Witnesses
Please remember that it is your responsibility to provide two witnesses to your marriage, as without them your marriage cannot take place. They can be friends or relatives, ideally 18 years of age or over. They have to be capable of fully understanding what is taking place and be able to testify to what they have seen and heard should the need arise, as well as being able to speak and understand English.
Music
Music is normally played during parts of the ceremony, unless you request otherwise. At all Register Offices in Northamptonshire you can provide your own music if you so wish, usually on CD. At each of the County's Register Offices there is a selection of classical and more modern music from which you can choose if you prefer. Part of one track could be played for the bridal entry (if arranged), another 5 to 10 minutes for the checking and signing of the Register and another track for the exit.
The music used can have no religious connotation with any faith due to the civil nature of the marriage. Examples of pieces that would not be acceptable are Ave Maria, Pie Jesu or any Mass or Requiem.
For all marriages at Approved Premises the music will have to be supplied by yourselves, either recorded or live. If there is live music the Superintendent Registrar conducting the ceremony will liaise with the musicians on the day over cue words.
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Photography and Video
Whilst no photographs are allowed during the ceremony itself there will be plenty of time for photographs after the Register has been signed. If you are having an official photographer taking photographs of your arrival, ie stepping out of the car or sweeping down a grand staircase, you need to allow time for this before you are required by the Registrar. Even where you have decided to have a small wedding with just witnesses and maybe a few guests do bring cameras.
Video recording of the ceremony is permitted only by prior arrangement with the Superintendent Registrar and only one camera may be used. The equipment must be hand-held and battery operated - so no lights, cables or tripods for either ourselves or you to trip over! Whilst the majority of the ceremony can be recorded this does not include the signing of the Register, as this contains personal details that may not be filmed. The camera operator must remain in the area indicated by the Superintendent Registrar and comply with any request made to them by the Registration staff.
Neither the Superintendent Registrar, nor Northamptonshire County Council accept any responsibility for any damage to or loss of any equipment either at, or in, the grounds of Northamptonshire Register Offices.
Flowers
The Northamptonshire Register Offices contain a mixture of real and artificial flower arrangements in the marriage rooms. However, if you wish to provide flowers for the room please discuss this with the Superintendent Registrar well in advance.
For a marriage taking place in Approved Premises you should discuss flower arrangements with them direct.
Mobile phones
Please remind all concerned that it is essential that mobile phones should be turned off before entering the building where a marriage is to take place, otherwise you could have the "Flight of the Bumble Bee" or "Old MacDonald" going off part way through the ceremony!
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Confetti
Confetti may be thrown outside each of the County's Register Offices
If marrying in an Approved Premise please check with the Venue direct and inform your guests accordingly.
Involving people
There are a variety of ways in which you can involve people, both adults and children in your ceremony, but please discuss your plans with the Superintendent Registrar to work out what is practical in any particular Register Office or Venue. Here are a few ideas to help:
- The bride could make an entrance to music on the arm of someone important to her (this could be a parent, sibling or friend for example) accompanied by bridesmaids and/or pageboys
- If both sets of parents are to be with you on the day remember that your natural or adoptive father will have his details in the marriage entry anyway. To include both mothers in such a permanent record as the two witnesses means that they too get a mention, after all they often do a lot of the hard work for you!
- The rings could be given to either one or two people (adults or children) to hold for you, ready to hand over at the appropriate point in the ceremony
- Allow a child to hold the ring cushion from which you take the rings to exchange (all Register Offices provide a cushion or tray for the rings, both in the office itself and at Venues)
- Nominate someone to take the flowers from the bride when needed (adult or child)
It can be particularly memorable to involve your children, this can be especially symbolic when joining two families together. The only advice we would give for young children is to ask them if they would like to be involved, have fun practicing their role, be prepared if they do not want to "perform" on the day. From our experience of marriages over the years we would not recommend a role for any child under 4, other than bridesmaid or pageboy. See the section on witnesses for guidance on their age.
Once you are married you will both be asked to check the Marriage Register entry to verify all details are correct. Please check very carefully as changes can be made later but it does require a complex process. You will both then be asked to sign the Register, in your usual signature. The bride must sign in the name used at the time the marriage was contracted (prior to the marriage). Your two witnesses will then be asked to sign the Register, followed by the two Registration Officers. You will then be presented with your marriage certificate before being invited to lead your guests out of the ceremony room.
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